Act the third

 

Scene the first

A parlour in Justice Woodcock's house.
Enter Sir William Meadows, followed by Hawthorn.

 Q 

(nobody)

<- Sir William, Hawthorn

 

SIR WILLIAM

Well this is excellent, this is mighty good, this is mighty merry faith; ha, ha, ha; was ever the like heard of? that my boy Tom should run away from me, for fear of being forced to marry a girl he never saw! that she should scamper from her father, for fear of being forced to marry him; and that they should run into one another's arms this way in disguise; by mere accident; against their consents, and without knowing it, as a body may say? may I never do an ill turn, master Hawthorn, if it is not one of the oddest adventures partly ~  

HAWTHORN

Why, Sir William, it is romance, a novel, a pleasanter history, by half, than the loves of Dorastus and Faunia: we shall have ballads made of it within these two months, setting forth; how a young 'squire became a serving man of low degree; and it will be stuck up with Margaret's Ghost, and the Spanish Lady, against the walls of every cottage in the country.

SIR WILLIAM

But what pleases me best of all, master Hawthorn, is the ingenuity of the girl. May I never do an ill turn, when I was called out of the room, and the servant said she wanted to speak to me, if I knew what to make on't: but when the little gypsey took me aside, and told me her name, and how matters stood, I was quite astonish'd as a body may say; and could not believe it partly; till her young friend, that she is with here, assured me of the truth on't. Indeed at last I began to recollect her face, though I have not set eyes on her before, since she was the height of a full grown greyhound.

HAWTHORN

Well Sir William, your son as yet knows nothing of what has happen'd, nor of your being come hither; and if you'll follow my counsel, we'll have some sport with him ~ he and his mistress were to meet in the garden this evening by appointment, she's gone to dress herself in all her airs; will you let me direct your proceedings in this affair?

SIR WILLIAM

With all my heart, master Hawthorn, with all my heart, do what you will with me; say what you please for me; I am so overjoy'd and so happy ~ And may I never do an ill turn, but I am very glad to see you too, ay, and partly as much pleased at that as any thing else, for we have been merry together before now, when we were some years younger: well and how has the world gone with you master Hawthorn since we saw one another last?

HAWTHORN

Why, pretty well Sir William, I have no reason to complain; every one has a mixture of four with his sweets; but in the main I believe I have done in a degree as tollerably as my neighbours.

 
[Air XXXIII]

 N 

The world is a well furnish'd table,  

where guests are promisc'ously set;

we all fare as well as we're able,

and scramble for what we can get.

My simile holds to a tittle,

some gorge while some scarce have a taste;

but if I am content with a little,

enough is as good as a feast.

 

Scene the second

Sir William Meadows, Hawthorn, Rossetta.

<- Rossetta

 

ROSSETTA

Sir William, I beg pardon for detaining you; but I have had so much difficulty in adjusting my borrowed plumes ~  

SIR WILLIAM

May I never do an ill turn but they fit you to a T, and you look very well, so you do; cocksbones how your father will chuckle when he comes to hear this ~ Her father, master Hawthorn, is as worthy a man as lives by bread, and has been almost out of his senses for the loss of her ~ But tell me hussey, has not this been all a scheme, a piece of conjuration between you and my son? Faith I am half persuaded it has, it looks so like hocus pocus as a body may say.

ROSSETTA

Upon my honour, Sir William, what has happened has been the mere effect of chance; I came hither unknown to your son, and he unknown to me: I never in the least suspected that Thomas the gardener was other than his appearance spoke him, and least of all, that he was a person with whom I had so close a connection. Mr. Hawthorn can testify the astonishment I was in when he first informed me of it: but I thought it was my duty to come to an immediate explanation with you.

SIR WILLIAM

Is not she a neat wench master Hawthorn? May I never do an ill turn but she is ~ but you little plaguy devil, how came this love affair between you?

ROSSETTA

I have told you the whole truth very ingenuously sir; since your son and I have been fellow servants, as I may call it, in this house; I have had more than reason to suspect he had taken a liking to me; and I will own with equal frankness, had I not look'd upon him as a person so much below me, I should have had no objection to receiving his courtship.

HAWTHORN

Well said by the lord Harry, all above board, fair and open.

ROSSETTA

Perhaps I may be censured by some for this candid declaration; but I love to speak my sentiments; and I assure you Sir William, in my own opinion, I should prefer a gardener, with your son's good qualities, to a knight of the shire without them.

 
[Air XXXIV]

 N 

'Tis not wealth, it is not birth,  

can value to the soul convey;

minds possess superior worth,

which chance nor gives, nor takes away.

Like the sun true merit shows,

by nature warm by nature bright;

with inbred flames, he nobly glows,

nor needs the aid of borrow'd light.

 

HAWTHORN

Well, but sir, we lose time ~ is not this about the hour you appointed to meet in the garden?  

ROSSETTA

Pretty near it.

HAWTHORN

Oons then, what do we stay for? come my old friend come along, and by the way we will consult how to manage your interview.

SIR WILLIAM

Ay, but I must speak a word or two to my man about the horses first.

 

Hawthorn, Sir William ->

 

Scene the third

Rossetta, Hodge.

<- Hodge

 

ROSSETTA

Well ~ What's the business?  

HODGE

Madam ~ mercy on us, I crave pardon!

ROSSETTA

Why Hodge, don't you know me?

HODGE

Mrs. Rossetta!

ROSSETTA

Ay.

HODGE

Know you, ecod I don't know whether I do or not: never stir, if I did not think it was some lady belonging to the strange gentlefolks; why you ben't dizen'd this way, to go to the statute dance presently, be you?

ROSSETTA

Have patience and you'll see ~ but is there any thing amiss, that you came in so abruptly?

HODGE

Amiss! why there's ruination.

ROSSETTA

How, where?

HODGE

Why with miss Lucinda: her aunt has catch'd she, and the gentleman above stairs, and over-heard all their love discourse.

ROSSETTA

You don't say so!

HODGE

Ecod, I had like to have pop'd in among them this instant, but by good luck, I heard Mrs. Deborah's voice, and ran down again, as fast as ever my legs could carry me.

ROSSETTA

Is your master in the house?

HODGE

What his worship? no, no, he is gone into the fields to talk with the reapers and people.

ROSSETTA

Poor Lucinda, I wish I could go up to her, but I am so engaged with my own affairs ~

HODGE

Mrs. Rossetta.

ROSSETTA

Well.

HODGE

Odds bobs, I must have one smack of your sweet lips.

ROSSETTA

Oh stand off, you know I never allow liberties.

HODGE

Nay, but why so coy, there's reason in roasting of eggs; I would not deny you such a thing.

ROSSETTA

That's kind, ha, ha, ha! ~ but what will become of Lucinda? Sir William waits for me, I must be gone ~ friendship a moment by your leave, yet as our sufferings have been mutual, so shall our joys; I already lose the remembrance of all former pains and anxieties.

 
[Air XXXV]

 N 

The traveller benighted,    

and led thro' weary ways;

the lamp of day new lighted,

with joy the dawn surveys.

The rising prospects viewing,

each look is forward cast;

he smiles his course pursuing,

nor thinks of what is past.

S

Sfondo schermo () ()

 

Rossetta ->

 

Scene the fourth

Hodge, Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda.

 

HODGE

Hist, stay! don't I hear a noise?  

LUCINDA
(within)

Well, but dear, dear aunt.

MRS. DEBORAH
(within)

You need not speak to me, for it does not signify.

HODGE

Adwawns they are coming here, ecod I'll get out of the way ~ murrain take it, this door is bolted now ~ so so.

 

<- Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda

MRS. DEBORAH

Get along, get along; (driving in Lucinda before her) you are a scandal to the name of Woodcock! but I was resolved to find you out, for I have suspected you a great while, though your father, silly man, will have you such a poor innocent.  

LUCINDA

What shall I do?

MRS. DEBORAH

I was determined to discover what you, and your pretended music master were about; and lay in wait on purpose: I believe he thought to escape me, by slipping into the closet when I knocked at the door; but I was even with him, for now I have him under lock and key, and please the fates there he shall remain till your father comes in: I will convince him of his error, whether he will or not.

LUCINDA

You won't be so cruel, I am sure you won't; I thought I had made you my friend, by telling you the truth.

MRS. DEBORAH

Telling me the truth quotha? did I not overhear your scheme of running away to night, through the partition! did not I find the very bundles pack'd up in the room with you ready for going off? No brazenface, I found out the truth by my own sagacity, though your father says I am a fool! but now we'll be judged who is the greatest ~ and you mister rascal, my brother shall know what an honest servant he has got.

HODGE

Madam!

MRS. DEBORAH

You were to have been aiding and assisting them in their escape, and have been the go-between it seems, the letter-carrier!

HODGE

Who me madam!

MRS. DEBORAH

Yes, you sirrah!

HODGE

Miss Lucinda, did I ever carry a letter for you? I'll make my affidavy before his worship ~

MRS. DEBORAH

Go, go, you are a villain, hold your tongue.

LUCINDA

I own aunt I have been very faulty in this affair; I don't pretend to excuse myself; but we are all subject to frailties, consider that, and judge of me by yourself, who were once young, and inexperienced as I am.

 
[Air XXXVI]

 N 

If ever a fond inclination,  

rose in your bosom, to rob you of rest;

reflect with a little compassion,

on the soft pangs, which prevail'd in my breast.

Oh where, where would you fly me;

can you deny me thus torn and distrest;

think when my lover was by me,

would I, how cou'd I, refuse his request?

Kneeling before you, let me implore you;

look on me sighing, crying, dying;

ah! is there no language can move?

If I have been too complying!

Hard was the conflict 'twixt duty, and love.

 

MRS. DEBORAH

This is mighty pretty romantick stuff! but you learn it out of your play books, and novels. Girls in my time had other employments, we work'd at our needles, and kept ourselves from idle thoughts: before I was your age, I had finished with my own fingers, a compleat set of chairs, and a fire screen in tent stitch; four counterpanes, in Marsailles quilting; and the creed, and the ten commandments, in the hair of our family: it was framed, and glazed, and hung over the parlour chimney piece, and your poor dear grandfather was prouder of it, than of e'er a picture in his house. I never looked into a book, but when I said my prayers, except it was the compleat housewife, or the great family receipt book: whereas you are always at your studies! Ah, I never knew a woman come to good, that was fond of reading.  

LUCINDA

Well, pray madam, let me prevail on you to give me the key to let Mr. Eustace out, and I promise, I never will proceed a step farther in this business, without your advice and approbation.

MRS. DEBORAH

Have not I told you already my resolution? ~ where are my clogs and my bonnet? I'll go out to my brother in the fields; I'm a fool you know child, now let's see what the wits will think of themselves, ~ don't hold me ~

LUCINDA

I'm not going ~ I have thought of a way to be even with you, so you may do as you please.

 

Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda ->

 

Scene the fifth

Hodge.

 

 

Well, I thought it would come to this, I'll be shot if I didn't ~ so here's a fine jobb ~ but what can they do to me ~ they can't send me to jail for carrying a letter, seeing there was no treason in it; and how was I obligated to know my master did not allow of their meetings ~ the worst they can do, is to turn me off, and I am sure the place is no such great purchase ~ indeed, I shall be sorry to leave Mrs. Rossetta, seeing as how matters are so near being brought to an end, betwixt us; but she and I may keep company all as one: and I finds Madge has been speaking with Gaffer Broadwheels, the waggoner, about her carriage up to London; so that I have got rid of she, and I am sure I have reason to be main glad of it, for she led me a wearysome life ~ but that's the way of them all.  

 
[Air XXXVII]

 N 

A plague of those wenches, they make such a pother,  

when once they have let'n a man have his will;

they're always a whining for something or other,

and cry he's unkind in his carriage,

what tho'f he speaks them ne'er so fairly

still they keep teazing, teazing on:

you cannot persuade 'em;

'till promise you've made 'em:

and after they have got it,

they tell you ~ add rot it,

their character's blasted, they're ruin'd, undone;

and then, to be sure, sir,

there is but one cure, sir,

and all the discourse is of marriage.

 

Hodge ->

 
 

Scene the sixth

A green-house.
Enter Young Meadows.

 Q 

(nobody)

<- Young Meadows

 

YOUNG MEADOWS

I am glad I had the precaution to bring this suit of cloaths in my bundle, though I hardly know myself in them again, they appear so strange, and feel so unwieldy. However, my gardener's jacket goes on no more ~ I wonder this girl does not come (looking at his watch); perhaps she won't come ~ why, then I'll go into the village, take a post-chaise, and depart without any farther ceremony.  

 
[Air XXXVIII]

 N 

How much superior beauty awes,  

the coldest bosoms find;

but with resistless force it draws,

to sense and sweetness join'd.

The casket, where to outward shew,

the workman's art is seen,

is doubly valu'd, when we know

it holds a gem within.

 

 

Hark! she comes.  

 

Scene the seventh

Enter Sir William Meadows and Hawthorn.

<- Sir William, Hawthorn

 

YOUNG MEADOWS

Confusion! my father! What can this mean?  

SIR WILLIAM

Tom, are not you a sad boy, Tom, to bring me a hundred and forty miles here ~ may I never do an ill turn, but you deserve to have your head broke; and I have a good mind, partly ~ what, sirrah, don't you think it worth your while to speak to me?

YOUNG MEADOWS

Forgive me, sir, I own I have been in a fault.

SIR WILLIAM

In a fault! to run away from me because I was going to do you good ~ may I never do an ill turn, master Hawthorn, if I did not pick out as fine a girl for him, partly, as any in England; and the rascal run away from me, and came here and turn'd gardener. And pray what did you propose to yourself, Tom? I know you were always fond of botany, as they call it; did you intend to keep the trade going, and advertise fruit-trees and flowering-shrubs, to be had at Meadows's nursery?

HAWTHORN

No, Sir William, I apprehend the young gentleman designed to lay by the profession; for he has quitted the habit already.

YOUNG MEADOWS

I am so astonished to see you here, Sir, that I don't know what to say; but, I assure you, if you had not come, I should have returned home to you directly. Pray, sir, how did you find me out?

SIR WILLIAM

No matter, Tom, no matter; it was partly by accident, as a body may say; but what does that signify ~ tell me, boy, how stands your stomach towards matrimony? Do you think you could digest a wife now?

YOUNG MEADOWS

Pray, sir, don't mention it; I shall always behave myself as a dutiful son ought: I will never marry without your consent, and I hope you won't force me to do it against my own.

SIR WILLIAM

Is not this mighty provoking, master Hawthorn? Why, sirrah, did you ever see the lady I designed for you?

YOUNG MEADOWS

Sir, I don't doubt the lady's merit; but, at present, I am not disposed.

HAWTHORN

Nay, but young gentleman, fair and softly, you should pay some respect to your father in this matter.

SIR WILLIAM

Respect, master Hawthorn! may I never do an ill turn, but he shall marry her, or I'll disinherit him! there's once. Look you, Tom, not to make any more words of the matter, I have brought the lady here with me, and I'll see you contracted before we part; or you shall delve and plant cucumbers as long as you live.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Have you brought the lady here, sir? I am sorry for it.

SIR WILLIAM

Why sorry? what then you won't marry her? we'll see that; pray, master Hawthorn, conduct the fair one in ~ ay, sir, you may fret, and dance about, trot at the rate of fifteen miles an hour, if you please; but may I never do an ill turn, but I am resolved.

 

Hawthorn ->

 

Scene the eighth

Sir William Meadows, Hawthorn, Young Meadows, Rossetta.

<- Hawthorn, Rossetta

 

HAWTHORN

Here is the lady, Sir William.  

SIR WILLIAM

Come in, madam, but turn your face from him ~ he would not marry you because he had not seen you; but I'll let him know my choice shall be his, and he shall consent to marry you before he sees you, or not an acre of estate ~ Pray, sir, walk this way.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Sir, I cannot help thinking your conduct a little extraordinary; but, since you urge me so closely, I must tell you my affections are engaged.

SIR WILLIAM

How, Tom! how!

YOUNG MEADOWS

I was determined, Sir, to have got the better of my inclination, and never have done a thing which I knew would be disagreeable to you.

SIR WILLIAM

And pray, sir, who are your affections engaged to? let me know that.

YOUNG MEADOWS

To a person, sir, whose rank and fortune may be no recommendations to her; but whose charms and accomplishments entitle her to a monarch. I am sorry, sir, it's impossible for me to comply with your commands, and I hope you will not be offended if I quit your presence.

SIR WILLIAM

Not I, not in the least; go about your business.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Sir, I obey.

HAWTHORN

Now is your time, madam.

 
[Air XXXIX]

 N 

ROSSETTA

When we see a lover languish,  

and his truth and honour prove,

ah! how sweet to heal his anguish,

and repay him love for love.

 

SIR WILLIAM

Well, Tom, will you go away from me now?  

HAWTHORN

Perhaps, Sir William, your son does not like the lady; and, if so, pray don't put a force upon his inclination.

YOUNG MEADOWS

You need not have taken this method, sir, to let me see you were acquainted with my folly, whatever my inclinations are.

SIR WILLIAM

Well, but Tom, suppose I give my consent to your marrying this young woman?

YOUNG MEADOWS

Your consent, sir!

ROSSETTA

Come, Sir William, we have carried the jest far enough; I see your son is in a kind of embarrassment, and I don't wonder at it; but this letter, which I received from him a few days before I left my father's house, will, I apprehend, expound the riddle. He cannot be surprized that I ran away from a gentleman who expressed so much dislike to me; and what has happened since chance brought us together in masquerade, there is no occasion for me to inform him of.

YOUNG MEADOWS

What is all this? pray don't make a jest of me.

SIR WILLIAM

May I never do an ill turn, Tom, if it is not truth; this is my friend's daughter.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Sir!

ROSSETTA

Even so; 'tis very true indeed. In short, you have not been a more whimsical gentleman, than I have a gentlewoman; but you see we were designed for one another, 'tis plain.

YOUNG MEADOWS

I know not, madam, what I either hear or see, a thousand things are crowding on my imagination; while, like one just wakened from a dream, I doubt which is reality, which delusion.

SIR WILLIAM

Well then, Tom, come into the air a bit, and recover yourself.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Nay, dear sir, have a little patience; do you give her to me?

SIR WILLIAM

Give her to you! ay, that I do, and my blessing into the bargain.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Then, sir, I am the happiest man in the world. I enquire no farther; here I fix the utmost limits of my hopes and happiness.

 
[Air XL]

 N 

 

All I wish in her obtaining,  

fortune can no more impart;

ROSSETTA

let my eyes, my thoughts explaining,

speak the feelings of my heart.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Joy and pleasure never ceasing,

ROSSETTA

love with length of years increasing.

ROSSETTA AND YOUNG MEADOWS

Thus my heart and hand surrender,

here my faith and truth I plight;

constant still, and kind and tender,

may our flames burn ever bright.

 

HAWTHORN

Give you joy, sir; and you fair lady ~ and, under favour, I'll salute you, too, if there's no fear of jealousy.  

YOUNG MEADOWS

But may I believe this? ~ pr'ythee tell me, dear Rossetta.

ROSSETTA

Step into the house and I'll tell you every thing ~ I must intreat the good offices of Sir William, and mister Hawthorn, immediately; for I am in the utmost uneasiness about my poor friend Lucinda.

HAWTHORN

Why, what's the matter?

ROSSETTA

I don't know, but I have reason to fear, I left her just now in very disagreeable circumstances, however, I hope, if there is any mischief fallen out between her father and her lover ~

HAWTHORN

The music master! I thought so.

SIR WILLIAM

What is there a lover in the case? may I never do an ill turn, but I am glad, so I am; for we'll make a double wedding; and, by way of celebrating it, take a trip to London, to shew the brides some of the pleasures of the town. And, master Hawthorn, you shall be of the party ~ come, children, go before us.

HAWTHORN

Thank you, Sir William, I'll go into the house with you, and to church, to see the young folks married; but, as to London, I beg to be excused.

 
[Air XLI]

 N 

If ever I'm catch'd in those regions of smoak,  

that seat of confusion and noise,

may I ne'er know the sweets of a slumber unbroke,

nor the pleasures the country enjoys.

Nay more, let them take me, to punish my sin,

where, gaping, the cockneys they fleece,

clap me up with their monsters, cry, masters, walk in,

and shew me for two-pence a-piece.

 

Rossetta, Young Meadows, Hawthorn, Sir William ->

 
 

Scene the ninth

Justice Woodcock's hall.
Enter Justice Woodcock, Mrs. Deborah Woodcock, Lucinda, Eustace, Hodge

 Q 

(nobody)

<- Justice Woodcock, Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda, Eustace, Hodge

 

MRS. DEBORAH

Why, brother, do you think I can hear or see, or make use of my senses? I tell you, I left that fellow locked up in her closet; and, while I have been with you, they have broke open the door, and got him out again.  

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Well, you hear what they say.

MRS. DEBORAH

I care not what they say; it's you encourage them in their impudence ~ hark'e, hussey, will you face me down that I did not lock the fellow up?

LUCINDA

Really, aunt, I don't know what you mean; when you talk intelligibly, I'll answer you.

EUSTACE

Seriously madam, this is carrying the jest a little too far.

MRS. DEBORAH

What then, I did not catch you together in her chamber, nor over-hear your design of going off to night, nor find the bundles packt up ~

EUSTACE

Ha, ha, ha!

LUCINDA

Why aunt you rave.

MRS. DEBORAH

Brother, as I am a christian woman, she confessed the whole affair to me from first to last: and in this very place was down upon her marrow-bones, for half an hour together, to beg I would conceal it from you.

HODGE

Oh lord! oh lord!

MRS. DEBORAH

What sirrah, would you brazen me too, take that (boxes him).

HODGE

I wish you would keep your hands to yourself, you strike me, because you have been telling his worship stories.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Why sister you are tipsey!

MRS. DEBORAH

I tipsey brother! ~ I ~ that never touch a drop of any thing strong from year's end to year's end; but now and then a little annyseed water, when I have got the cholic.

LUCINDA

Well, aunt, you have been complaining of the stomach-ach all day; and may have taken too powerful a dose of your cordial.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Come, come, I see well enough how it is, this is a lye of her own invention, to make herself appear wise: but you simpleton, did not you know I must find you out?

 

Scene the tenth

Enter Sir William Meadows, Hawthorn, Rossetta, Young Meadows.

<- Sir William, Hawthorn, Rossetta, Young Meadows

 

YOUNG MEADOWS

Bless me sir! look who is yonder.  

SIR WILLIAM

Cocksbones, Jack, honest Jack, are you there.

EUSTACE

Plague on't, this rencounter is unlucky ~ Sir William your servant.

SIR WILLIAM

Your servant again, and again, heartily your servant; may I never do an ill turn, but I am glad to meet you.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Pray Sir William, are you acquainted with this person?

SIR WILLIAM

What, with Jack Eustace? why he's my kinsman: his mother and I are cousin-germans once removed, and Jack's a very worthy young fellow; may I never do an ill turn if I tell you a word of a lye.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Well, but Sir William, let me tell you, you know nothing of the matter; this man is a music master; a thrummer of wire, and scraper of cat-gut, and teaches my daughter to sing.

SIR WILLIAM

What Jack Eustace a music master! no, no, I know him better.

EUSTACE

S'death, why should I attempt to carry on this absurd farce any longer? ~ what that gentleman tells you is very true, sir; I am no music master indeed.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

You are not, you own it then?

EUSTACE

Nay, more sir, I am as this lady has represented me, (pointing to Mrs. Deborah) your daughter's lover; whom with her own consent, I did intend to have carried off this night; but now that Sir William Meadows is here, to tell you who, and what I am; I throw myself upon your generosity, from which I expect greater advantages, than I could reap from any imposition on your unsuspicious nature.

MRS. DEBORAH

Well brother, what have you to say for yourself now? you have made a precious day's work of it? had my advice been taken: oh I am ashamed of you, but you are a weak man and it can't be helpt; however you should let wiser heads direct you.

LUCINDA

Dear papa, pardon me.

SIR WILLIAM

Ay, do sir forgive her; my cousin Jack, will make her a good husband, I'll answer for it.

ROSSETTA

Stand out of the way, and let me speak two or three words to his worship ~ come my dear Sir, though you refuse all the world, I am sure you can deny me nothing: love is a venial fault ~ you know what I mean ~ be reconciled to your daughter, I conjure you, by the memory of our past affections ~ what not a word!

 
[Air XLII]

 N 

Go naughty man, I can't abide you;    

are then your vows so soon forgot?

Ah! now I see if I had tryed you;

what would have been my hopeful lot.

But here I charge you ~ make them happy;

bless the fond pair, and crown their bliss:

come be a dear good-natur'd pappy;

and I'll reward you with a kiss.

S

Sfondo schermo () ()

 

MRS. DEBORAH

Come turn out of the house; and be thankful my brother does not hang you, for he could do it, he's a justice of peace; ~ turn out of the house I say ~  

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Who gave you authority to turn him out of the house ~ he shall stay where he is.

MRS. DEBORAH

He shan't marry my niece.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Shan't he? but I'll shew you the difference now, I say he shall marry her, and what will you do about it?

MRS. DEBORAH

And you will give him your estate too, will you?

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Yes I will.

MRS. DEBORAH

Why, I am sure he's a vagabond.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

I like him the better, I would have him a vagabond.

MRS. DEBORAH

Brother, brother!

HAWTHORN

Come, come, madam all's very well, and I see my neighbour is what I always thought him, a man of sense and prudence.

SIR WILLIAM

May I never do an ill turn, but I say so too.

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Here young fellow, take my daughter; and bless you both together; but hark you, no money till I die; observe that.

EUSTACE

Sir in giving me your daughter, you bestow upon me more than the whole world would be without her.

 
[Air XLIII]

 N 

 

The merchant whose vessel, the winds made their sport  

at last thus arrives with his treasure in port;

his labour requited, his duty he pays;

his dangers are past, and his heart is at ease.

LUCINDA

Were monarchs contending to make me a bride,

undazzled I'd look on their splendour and pride;

refused should their crowns, and their palaces be,

contented to live in a cottage with thee.

EUSTACE, LUCINDA

On earth, if there's ought of substantial delight,

'tis sure when like us a fond couple unite;

when blessed in each other their struggles are o'er,

and pleasures are heighten'd by pains gone before.

 

ROSSETTA

Dear Lucinda, if words could convey the transports of my heart upon this occasion ~  

LUCINDA

Words are the tools of hypocrites, the pretenders to friendship; only let us resolve to preserve our esteem for each other.

YOUNG MEADOWS

Dear Jack, I little thought we should ever meet in such odd circumstances ~ but here has been the strangest business between this lady and me ~

HODGE

What then Mrs. Rossetta, are you turned false-hearted after all; will you marry Thomas the gardener, and did I forsake Madge for this?

ROSSETTA

Oh lord! Hodge, I beg your pardon; I protest I forgot; but I must reconcile you and Madge I think; and give you a wedding dinner to make you amends.

HODGE

N ~ ah.

HAWTHORN

Adds me sir, here are some of your neighbours come to visit you, and I suppose, to make up the company of your statute ball; yonder's music too I see, shall we enjoy ourselves! if so give me your hand ~

JUSTICE WOODCOCK

Why, here's my hand, and we will enjoy ourselves, heaven bless you both children I say ~ sister Deborah, you are a fool.

MRS. DEBORAH

You are a fool brother; and mark my words ~ but I'll give myself no more trouble about you.

HAWTHORN

Fidlers strike up.

 
[Air XLIV]

 N 

ALL

Hence with cares complaints and frowning,  

welcome jollity and joy;

ev'ry grief in pleasure drowning,

mirth this happy night employ:

let's to friendship do our duty;

laugh and sing some good old strain,

drink a health to love and beauty,

may they long in triumph reign.

 
The end.
 

The end (Act the third)

Act the first Act the second Act the third

A parlour in Justice Woodcock's house

 
<- Sir William, Hawthorn

Well this is excellent

[Air XXXIII]

Sir William, Hawthorn
<- Rossetta

Sir William, I beg pardon

[Air XXXIV]

Well, but Sir, we lose time

Rossetta
Hawthorn, Sir William ->
Rossetta
<- Hodge

Well. What's the business?

[Air XXXV]

Hodge
Rossetta ->

Hist, stay! don't I hear a noise?

Hodge
<- Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda

Get along, get along

[Air XXXVI]

This is mighty pretty romantick stuff!

Hodge
Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda ->

Well, I thought it would come

[Air XXXVII]

Hodge ->

A green-house.

 
<- Young Meadows

I am glad I had the precaution

[Air XXXVIII]

Hark! she comes.

Young Meadows
<- Sir William, Hawthorn

Confusion! my father! What can this mean?

Young Meadows, Sir William
Hawthorn ->
Young Meadows, Sir William
<- Hawthorn, Rossetta

Here is the lady, Sir William.

[Air XXXIX]

Well, Tom, will you go away from me now?

[Air XL]

Young Meadows, Rossetta
All I wish in her obtaining

Give you joy, sir; and you fair lady

[Air XLI]

Rossetta, Young Meadows, Hawthorn, Sir William ->

Justice Woodcock's hall.

 
<- Justice Woodcock, Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda, Eustace, Hodge

Why, brother, do you think

Justice Woodcock, Mrs. Deborah, Lucinda, Eustace, Hodge
<- Sir William, Hawthorn, Rossetta, Young Meadows

Bless me sir! look who is yonder

[Air XLII]

Come turn out of the house

[Air XLIII]

Dear Lucinda, if words

[Air XLIV]

 
Scene the first Scene the second Scene the third Scene the fourth Scene the fifth Scene the sixth Scene the seventh Scene the eighth Scene the ninth Scene the tenth
A garden with statues, fountains, and flower-pots. Several arbours appear in the side-scenes. A hall in Justice Woodcock's house. A field with a stile. A green with the prospect of a village, and the representation of a statute or fair. A parlour in Justice Woodcock's house. A garden. Justice Woodcock's hall. A parlour in Justice Woodcock's house A green-house. Justice Woodcock's hall.
[Air I] [Air II] [Air III] [Air IV] [Air V] [Air VI] [Air VII] [Air VIII] [Air IX] [Air X] [Air XI] [Air XII] [Air XIII] [Air XIV] [Air XV] [Air XVI] [Air XVII] [Air XVIII] [Air XIX] [Air XX] [Air XXI] [Air XXII] [Air XXIII] [Air XXIV] [Air XXV] [Air XXVI] [Air XXVII] [Air XXVIII] [Air XXIX] [Air XXX] [Air XXXI] [Air XXXII] [Air XXXIII] [Air XXXIV] [Air XXXV] [Air XXXVI] [Air XXXVII] [Air XXXVIII] [Air XXXIX] [Air XL] [Air XLI] [Air XLII] [Air XLIII] [Air XLIV]
Act the first Act the second

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