Well, am not I a bold adventurer, to bring you into my father's house at noonday? though, to say the truth, we are safer here than in the garden; for there is not a human creature under the roof beside ourselves.  

Fye! how can you talk so lightly? I protest I am afraid to have any thing to do with you; your passion seems too much founded on appetite; and my aunt Deborah says ~

Oh to be sure, promise and vow; it sounds prettily, and never fails to impose upon a fond female.

Seriously then, what would you desire me to say? I have promised to run away with you; which is as great a concession, as any reasonable lover can expect from his mistress.

Why that, I confess, requires some consideration.

My father and my aunt!

Take no notice of them, only observe me. (speaks aloud to Eustace) Upon my word sir, I don't know what to say to it, unless the justice was at home; he is just stepped into the village with some company; but, if you will sit down a moment, I dare sware he will return ~ (pretends to see the Justice) ~ Oh! sir, here is my papa!

Confess what aunt? this gentleman is a music master; he goes about the country teaching ladies to play and sing; and has been recommended to instruct me; I could not turn him out when he came to offer his service, and did not know what answer to give him 'till I saw my papa.

If my papa did ask the question aunt, it would be very easily resolved.

Why, sure madam you must think me very coming indeed.

Well, but why so violent.

My sweet pretty papa, your most obedient humble servant, hah, hah, hah! was ever so whimsical an accident! well sir, what do you think of this?  

O your aukwardness! I was frightened out of my wits, lest you should not take the hint! and if I had not turned matters so cleverly, we should have been utterly undone.

Yes, and never have seen one another afterwards. I know my father better than you do; he has taken it into his head, I have no inclination for a husband, and let me tell you, that is our best security; for if once he has said a thing, he will not be easily persuaded to the contrary.

Why, as I think all danger is pretty well over, since he has invited you to dinner with him, stay, only be cautious of your behaviour; and in the mean time, I will consider what is next to be done.

Do so, while I endeavour to recover myself a little, out of the flurry this affair has put me in.

Ah childish!

Let vain coquets, and prudes conceal,

what most their hearts desire;

with pride my passion I reveal,

oh! may it ne'er expire.

If ever poor creature was in a pitiable condition, surely I am. The devil take this fellow, I cannot get him out of my head, and yet I would fain persuade myself I don't care for him: well, but surely I am not in love, let me examine my heart a little: I saw him kissing one of the maids the other day; I could have boxed his ears for it, and have done nothing but find fault and quarrel with the girl ever since. Why was I uneasy at his toying with another woman? what was it to me? ~ Then I dream of him almost every night ~ but that may proceed from his being generally uppermost in my thoughts all day: oh! worse and worse! ~  

Well, he is certainly a pretty lad, he has something uncommon about him, considering his rank: ~ and now let me only put the case, if he was not a servant, would I, or would I not prefer him to all the men I ever saw? Why, to be sure, if he was not a servant ~ in short, I'll ask myself no more questions, for, the further I examine, the less reason I shall have to be satisfied.

Where could he get that now? he never read it in the academy of compliments.

Really, Mr. Thomas, this is very improper language; it is what I don't understand; I can't suffer it, and in short, I don't like it.  

Well, perhaps I don't.

Confess! indeed I shall confess no such thing: besides, to what purpose should I confess it?

Why, if I did love you, I can assure you, you wou'd never be the better for it ~ women are apt enough to be weak; we cannot always answer for our inclinations, but it is in our power not to give way to them; and, if I was so silly, I say, if I was so indiscreet, which I hope I am not, as to entertain an improper regard, when people's circumstances are quite unsuitable, and there are obstacles in the way that cannot be surmounted ~

Well then, since that is the case, as I assure you it is, I think we had better behave accordingly.

With all my heart.

I am very willing.

It is the best way.

Be gone ~ I agree,  

from this moment we're free,

already the matter I've sworn:

When things are but fit,

we should calmly submit;

no cure in reluctance we find:

Well, now I think I am somewhat easier: I am glad I have come to this explanation with him, because it puts an end to things at once.  

He seems in a brown study, poor wretch! I believe he is heartily mortified, but I must not pity him.

Oh lord; he will walk round this way; pray go about your business; I would not for the world he shou'd see us together.

Some other time.

Meet you!

Well, well, pray leave me now.

I don't know, perhaps I may.

What signifies promising; I may break my promise ~ but I tell you I will.

What can this be that he wants to tell me, I have a strange curiosity to hear it, methinks ~ well ~  

So, I thought the devil would throw him in my way; now for a courtship of a different kind, but I'll give him a furfeit ~ did you call me, sir?

I was only going into the house sir.

Thank you sir, pretty well.

Oh! sir, you are pleased to compliment.

Lord sir!

Not me I hope sir ~ no sir; I am of another guess mind I assure you; for I have heard say, men are so false and fickle ~

Why, I own sir, if ever I was to make a slip, it should be with an elderly gentleman ~ about seventy or seventy-five years of age.

Then, sir, he should be troubled with the gout, have a good strong, substantial winter cough ~ and I should not like him the worse ~ if he had a small of the rheumatism.

No, sir, every body has a taste, and I have mine.

What was it, sir?

Dear sir, consider my soul; would you have me endanger my soul?

Besides, sir, consider, what has a poor servant to depend on but her character? And I have heard you gentlemen will talk one thing before, and another after.

And a magistrate! sir.

Really, sir, I don't know what to say to it.

Won't you, sir?

But won't you, indeed, sir?

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha! ~ your servant, sir, your servant.

Well, but Hodge, things have fallen out more luckily; and my papa is very well reconciled to the gentleman, but does not suspect who he is; so take care you don't blab it.

I don't accuse you ~ and, as I have often put confidence in you before, I am now going to give you a fresh instance of my dependance on your fidelity. ~ I have just come to a resolution to leave the house, with mister Eustace, this night.

Not a syllable; nor would I have him, till we are out of his reach, which we shall be by to-morrow morning, for the world.

I dare swear I shall return soon again, Hodge ~ when my father finds that we are married, and what's done cannot be undone, you know ~

That you shall be told, if you come into my chamber after dinner; Mr. Eustace will be there ~ and, in the mean time, as a reward for the services you have done us already, there's somewhat

(gives money).

Depend upon it, Hodge, I will insure you from all damages. ~ But where shall I find Rossetta, to tell her of this? ~ Well, I am going to do a strange bold thing, but I hope we shall be happy.

Why, I let myself in.

I want to know if his worship's at home.

Perhaps you will hear that ~ Look ye, Hodge, it does not signify talking, I am come, once for all, to know what you intends to do; for I won't be made a fool of any longer.

No, that's what I won't, by the best man that ever wore a head; I am the make-game of the whole village upon your account; and I'll try whether your master gives you toleration in your doings.

Yes, that's what I will, his worship shall be acquainted with all your pranks, and see how you will like to be sent for a soldier.

My business is with his worship.

I won't.

Sure I heard the voice of discord here ~ as I live an admirer of mine, and if I mistake not, a rival ~ I'll have some sport with them ~ how now fellow servant what's the matter?  

No Hodge, this is your fine madam! but I am as good flesh and blood as she, and have as clean a skin too, tho'f I mayn't go so gay; and now she's here I'll tell her a piece of my mind.

No, I'll speak if I die for it.

What is the matter I say.

Yes, but it is something, it's all along of she, and she may be ashamed of herself.

Bless me child, do you direct your discourse to me?

Yes, I do, and to nobody else; there was not a kinder soul breathing than he was 'till of late; I had never a cross word from him till he kept you company; but all the girls about say, there's no such thing as keeping a sweetheart for you.

Do you hear this, friend Hodge?

Oh you base rogue, you deceitful fellow, you are parjur'd, you know you are, and you deserve to have your eyes tore out.

Do, strike me; you a man!

Hold, hold ~ we shall have a battle, here presently, and I may chance to get my cap tore off ~ never exasperate a jealous woman, 'tis taking a mad bull by the horns ~ leave me to manage her.

No, no, it will be more for my credit, to get the better of her by fair means ~ I warrant I'll bring her to reason.

We'll talk of that another time ~ go.

The brutality of this fellow shocks me! ~ oh man, man ~ you are all alike ~ a bumkin here, bred at the barn door! had he been brought up in a court, could he have been more fashionably vicious? shew me the lord, 'squire, colonel, or captain of them all, that can out-do him.

I am ready to burst, I can't stay in the place any longer.  

Hold child, come hither.

Don't speak to me, don't you.

Well, but I have something to say to you of consequence, and that will be for your good; I suppose this fellow promised you marriage.

Ay, or he should never have prevail'd upon me.

Well, now you see the ill consequence of trusting to such promises: when once a man hath cheated a woman of her virtue, she has no longer hold of him; he despises her for wanting that which he hath robb'd her of; and like a lawless conqueror, triumphs in the ruin he hath occasioned.

~ Nan!

However, I hope the experience you have got, though somewhat dearly purchased, will be of use to you for the future; and as to any designs I have upon the heart of your lover, you may make yourself easy, for I assure you, I shall be no dangerous rival, so go your ways and be a good girl.

Yes ~ I don't very well understand her talk, but I suppose that's as much as to say she'll keep him herself; well let her, who cares, I don't fear getting better nor he is any day of the year, for the matter of that; and I have a thought come into my head that may-be will be more to my advantage.

Ha! ha! ha! Oh admirable, most delectibly ridiculous. And so your father is content he should be a music-master, and will have him such, in spite of all your aunt can say to the contrary?  

My father and he, child, are the best companions you ever saw: they have been singing together the most hideous duets! Bobbing Joan, and Old Sir Simon the King: heaven knows where Eustace could pick them up; but he has gone through half the contents of pills to purge melancholy with him.

And have you resolved to take wing to-night?

This very night, my dear: my swain will go from hence this evening, but no farther than the inn, where he has left his horses; and, at twelve precisely, he will be with a post-chaise at the little gate that opens from the lawn into the road, where I have promised to meet him.

Then depend upon it, I'll bear you company.

We shall easily slip out when the family is a-sleep, and I have prepared Hodge already.

Nay, for that matter, you need not have a more expert pilot than myself upon such an expedition, but hark you ~

Your pleasure, sir.

Mister Hawthorn, your servant.

Now sir, what would you say to both of us?

Ay, marry, this is something; but how do you know, whether either mistress or maid, will think him worth acceptance.

I can assure you, mister Hawthorn, I am very difficult to please.

And so am I sir.

He must be, first of all,

straight, comely, and tall:

neither aukward,

nor foolish;

nor apish,

nor mulish;

All bluster and wounds!

To be left for his hounds.